Fighting with ourselves not only wastes our time but keeps us stuck in critical thoughts and self-judgment. We experience this “self-fighting” when we obsessively debate a decision or condemn ourselves for making a less than optimal decision. We drain our joy by staying mired in this mental pattern of fighting and criticizing. We watch as discouragement settles in and joy disappears. There seems to be no way to stop fighting with our thoughts.


To stop the battle, we need to integrate the mind with the body. In other words, to bring the body and mind into harmony. “If our minds and bodies are in harmony, we can easily use our body cues to make decisions, and then life is an easy flow.”[1]

This stops the cognitive brain from unilaterally running the show and causing a stop in the flow of decision making. When the mind and body are integrated, in harmony, then we can enjoy decision making.

With dis-harmony, the mind says yes to a decision but the shoulders, jaw, and/or stomach feel tense and are expressing no. Tension might be expressed in other parts of the body. With harmony, the mind says yes to a decision and the shoulders, jaw, and/or stomach feel ease and express a yes.


Having harmony affirms a decision. It brings a sensation of ease into the body. It doesn’t imply that acting on that decision will be easy, but you feel assured about going in the right direction. However, disharmony between the mind and body indicates some type of problem with the decision. Once you know the decision won’t work, you can stop fighting with it and move on. Think it through again and locate the problem. Make a new decision and see if that helps you find harmony in your body.

As a Life Coach, I help people harmonize their life, so they live at ease within themselves and stop the internal discord. I use a simple process of paying attention to whether the mind and body are in dis-harmony or harmony.

If you want a decision-making process that brings more harmony and joy into your life, I might be someone who could help. Contact me,, for a free 20-minute consultation to see if we are a fit. Check out my website for more information,


[1] Pearson, Carol S. Awakening the Heroes Within, pg 149.